The idea of a blank slate at the beginning of a year is compelling. No one really has one though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me I don’t. Yet I do in some ways, not good for the most. Nearly a week ago my blues kicked into high gear SAD or worse, I don’t know. I just don’t like much of anything now. I don’t feel anything. I don’t care. I can do things. I have to MAKE myself do things. Like write this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Starset’s Transmissions and Vessels is the one thing getting me, or The Cure Disintegration, or The Smiths How Soon Is Now? Piroshka’s Everlastingly Yours sounds just as good as when I first heard it. All these things are about darkness, but don’t all sound the same. FWIW<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All staples in the past, with many other things, but now I don’t like much. I can tolerate things, but get little to no pleasure, some things trigger me to turn them off though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something truly funny in a show, like in Season 3 of Unfortunate Events on Netflix, can make me kinda laugh, for a second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have things I must do, and things I care about, family, food, etc. But I don’t overall really feel anything, just remote actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I quit playing Tetris Effect the day I realized I felt nothing. I can play Warframe, since I have played it on PS4 since early 2014. I can go on mission and kill. It doesn’t feel anything, mild annoyance when something happens in the game, but mostly not even that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me this is not normal. I usually feel misery quite well. ILI, INTp, fun is dark and … uh, now, nothing is fun. Nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The idea of a blank slate at the beginning of a year is compelling. No one really has one though. For me I don’t. Yet I do in some ways, not good for the most. Nearly a week ago my blues kicked into high gear SAD or worse, I don’t know. I just don’t like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3737","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Blue-to-Black-1.png?fit=3456%2C2468&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":47,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2002\/12\/01\/december\/","url_meta":{"origin":3737,"position":0},"title":"December","author":"Maisy","date":"Sunday, December 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"I love December. 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