Anyone can take a stressor and turn it into a benign thing to not react to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I do that in my home, it is me being ambivalent to my husband’s excessive attitude for drinking alcohol, then making it into a non-reaction thing. Ignore functioning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That’s how one enables another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I mention the words “drink” or “beer” or “alcohol” –an instant button is pushed in him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My tack with all this the last couple of years is “stop binging” “stop drinking” it’s too much, not good for you and bad for the family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My children are mentioning things about his drinking, and he blames me. I don’t tell them to say things. They want to say things, they are concerned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stress is all too rampant, and one thing that is bad for stress is applying alcohol. You don’t solve anything that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He waffles about not drinking and then drinks some, then drinks more, then maybe drinks a lot, after that the cycle begins again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His drinking is his. But his actions are his to others. Him drinking effects changes that cause STRESS on everyone around him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also have a trauma afflictions that triggers when he mouths off at me. Inflammation, hurray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have so much I could say, but saying anything is hit or miss but never sticks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Anyone can take a stressor and turn it into a benign thing to not react to. When I do that in my home, it is me being ambivalent to my husband’s excessive attitude for drinking alcohol, then making it into a non-reaction thing. Ignore functioning. That’s how one enables another. When I mention the words […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6779,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2023\/05\/28\/see-fi-imploding-and-exploding\/","url_meta":{"origin":6832,"position":0},"title":"SEE-fi imploding and exploding","author":"Maisy","date":"Sunday, May 28, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"SEE is a happy party animal, usually. Sometimes there is a reactor meltdown, often culminating with holidays and weekends. Add more fuel to the fire if it's somebody else's personal holiday, he is so selfish and horrible to live with. He (SEE-fi) will get worse as the years go on.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2002\/08\/15\/christian-liberty\/","url_meta":{"origin":6832,"position":1},"title":"Christian Liberty","author":"Maisy","date":"Thursday, August 15, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, drinking alcohol* is a matter of Christian Liberty. My last post talked about drinking a Hot Toddy. I said I might have one that evening. Did I though? No. It sounded good, but I didn't need one. I decided not to have one. Which is my perogative. It would\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2002\/08\/12\/bored-but-i-have-a-topic-afterall\/","url_meta":{"origin":6832,"position":2},"title":"Bored — but I have a topic afterall!","author":"Maisy","date":"Monday, August 12, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm bored tonight. Figures. The children were hyper at bedtime. Guess it wore me out. Yes, tired, but my mind is awake. My mind is awake, but not totally alert. It's not about to let me sleep, and not about to let me think deeply. Yuck. This is the time\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Christianity\"","block_context":{"text":"Christianity","link":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/tag\/christianity\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2935,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2017\/06\/10\/dry-cider-woes\/","url_meta":{"origin":6832,"position":3},"title":"Dry Cider Woes","author":"Maisy","date":"Saturday, June 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I was a fan of original Strongbow Cider. It's reformulation is not the same. People in the store where my hubby goes to get liquor said it's the original. Aww, nice move. [It's not.] I don't like drinking alcohol very often. In the summer months dry cider is something I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6826,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2023\/08\/05\/trauma\/","url_meta":{"origin":6832,"position":4},"title":"Trauma","author":"Maisy","date":"Saturday, August 5, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Why is that I seem to have PTSD or CPTSD, rather, at this time of my life. I thought I could handle things and ended up making a few dumb choices which impact me to this day. I have all the hallmark signs but having an ILI personality I was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5702,"url":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/2022\/05\/24\/package-stress\/","url_meta":{"origin":6832,"position":5},"title":"Package Stress","author":"Maisy","date":"Tuesday, May 24, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Watching my new phone move from place to place is not fun. UPS Detroit to Detroit to Maumee OH this morning. And I'm supposed to get it tomorrow early afternoon. Ordered on Saturday, supposed to be here on Wednesday. Then on Sunday, UPS reported a delay and it'd get here\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6832"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6832\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6836,"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6832\/revisions\/6836"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hyperthinking.us\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}