I hate myself

I hate myself that I still can’t lose weight or inches, and that I just can’t now that I know so much more about the why of me.

I am Histamine Intolerant, maybe mold toxic, definitely I was tested in my teens as allergic to mold, so it’s my major enemy anyway.

I was an itchy kid, and got hives here and there, one time was from fresh summer cucumbers from the garden sliced and soaked in vinegar with onions. Ate a ton, fell asleep on the couch and woke up with everyone in my family standing around me, I was covered in hives. A sight to see.

Vinegar

Always tended to be hypoglycemic.

Sugar was my passion.

Chocolate my mainstay.

Icing/Frosting my second, close to chocolate love level.

Pastry

Bread

Homemade anything from above all the more love for.

As a kid I actually liked spinach, but figured out cooked spinach gave me a sore tongue, so quit eating it entirely in my early teens.

I love strawberry shortcake. Same thing as spinach. Sore tongue, dang.

Haven’t had any Strawberry since my mid-teens.

I took benadryl a lot after that, mysterious Spring allergies.

Later on I started getting Autumn allergies.

In the 2000’s I had year round allergies with worse seasonally. But then I was starting to take Advil often, for achy misery, but decided in 2018 that had to end. Plagued with inflammation and lack of energy most of the time since then, going to Costco took 3 days to recover from. What I know now, inflammation was the symptom that I was using Advil for. So many years went by treating a symptom with the worse thing for my allergies.

Oh what a story of Histamine Intolerance. I ate chocolate frequently all my life. Even the last few years.

With AIP and KETO I found a brownie recipe I loved using almond flour and allulose. A totally different brownie than the usual hershey recipe we used.

Even that is a huge NO-NO to me.

I had tried to avoid potato and tomato for a few years now, but anyhow it’s the idea that KETO might be good, but chocolate, tomato, are big items in that world.

I’m fairly unhappy in low-carb world without any of that. Histamine Intolerance (HIT) is very restrictive on what is good for me.

Yeast is a no-no in HIT, I need it to make Spelt Whole Grain Bread. I’ll just have to do that anyway.

I love cream cheese olive sandwiches. One of the only things that is super easy if I have bread made.

So I’m going to use spelt and kamut, as well as cassava.

I can’t have pineapple or banana anymore (HIT)

Anyhow I need my high histamine to drop. I’ve been in misery for a few months right now, up and down sometimes, mostly down though.

We got a lot of mold cleaned up in my bedroom (window there was broken glass inside, so the double pane was condemned to be moldy eventually and we let is slide like idiots that we are.)

My daughter did the work, clean it all up properly, then also mold & mildew primer on all the wood and a new 2 coats of enamel paint. Blinds cleaned, new drapes. So much better looking the smell is clean now. I can’t believe how moldy it smelled and I didn’t realize it.

We have more in other parts of the house, but immediately I didn’t feel as terrible, but still terrible exists with my inconsistent guts.

OK, then too dry, slow, then stop, then dump and dump and oh my goodness nnnnooooo morrrreeeee! Then it ends. And starts over again.

No matter what I do, this is it. I can’t not eat anything. Wednesday I will try to limit and stay limited the rest of the year. Get through the holidays somehow I will, or I don’t know. We’ll see.