F-r-i-e-n-d is a bad word

I used to be my husbands friend. Somewhere in the last 30 years he’s made a billion new friends and I’ve been bumped down and down and down and now there are over a billion other people that vie for his attention and I am lost and alone.

If it weren’t for God I would be alone. I am not alone, God is here with me. Keeping me sane. But that’s a hard road for me, human interaction isn’t necessary as much as it is for him, but as it goes all MY old friends fell to the wayside when everyone moved away to somewhere else, they got married, I got married no more contact and it didn’t matter at the end of the day. I still crave intellectual stimulation with other NT types of people. Sad and sadder, saddest.

These days the only friend I had was my hubby, and my children were familiar and I like them, love them, but I am left with the only thing I am being a holy moldy crazy cat lady.

Online friends. None really, nope. I used to … hubby doesn’t realize how he impacted that for me. Anyway I might as well live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Internet is a hopeful place that never delivers.

I am an INTp or as socionics call it: ILI-Ni – NT

Hubby is ESFp or as socionics calls it: SEE – SF

We are duals. We have had a good relationship, but the last 10 years has killed that more and more because of beer friends. That’s the final death knell for me.

We have up and downs as dual do. In this we are in that alful part before making up, but now it’s a making up that can’t happen for over a week because of some dumb beer event and then going to FL for the week for work.

When he comes home he has no time for me, gotta watch football and drink beer. Both are anathema to me and he knows it. Every living weekend it’s the same thing.

Weekday, oh, I have work to do. Can’t talk to me.

I am just a person that happens to have a female body, and that is ALL he cares about, not me, just the outward body. Ewwww.