Yesterday bred the pain of today

Yesterday was so much upheaval in the house. My 3rd child is grown up and moved back recently. All his stuff came up with him in a U-Haul truck the other day.

The room swaps and sorting through stuff under the big King bed that was removed really hit me with a ton of bricks. “This is going to storage,” he would say. ‘No, my precious memories where I can’t open the box and peruse at will.’

” It’ll just be a short drive to it,” he then said. ‘A short drive? I don’t have my own car. I don’t have the option of just hopping over there at whim.’

Very heavy, f-ing kid telling me what’s what. He’s the one from back in his young years who’d be the one who did the thing but wouldn’t ever admit it. It was very frustrating to deal with almost every day, or at least a few time a week, especially when his Dad was out-of -town for business.

I never have believed in corporal punishment. I refused to do any such thing. Reasoning things out is my style. A style that didn’t work on him.

So now we have Mr. Stoicism doing his own thing all along and now pushing what he thinks is right no matter how it makes some others feel. (all his life he’s been like that.)

I pay for such things with pain, miserable night, hand hurt so bad next day, head throbbing with a migraine, including light sensitivity that won’t stop today. I need to take Eletriptan but I only have 3 left still, and many days until a refill.

So Excedrin when I first got up at 5-something a.m. and a cup of half caff coffee at 8:45 a.m.

I like organization, but I’m a messy ADHD Autistic who needs reams of paper to write on and keeping anything I wrote about almost anything because IT’S IMPORTANT to me.

“You are too messy, you save everything. You have to get rid of stuff. You have to.” he says, shaking his head. He brings it up all day, here and there.

“OK you have to go through this box now” he ordered. When I protested he went on, “you have three days.”

‘You do that and I’ll become full obstinate about it. I will shut down and oh my goodness just be in worse pain and the memory will hit me like a ton of bricks every time it floats to the surface.’

At any rate I am still having more issues today, I’ve let this post sit for hours, giving me time to consider whether to post or not.

I will though because this is honestly how it all is, and my emotional health is true and what it is, my feelings are real.