My Sad Story

I was born in July 1966 in Pennsylvania. 5th child in my family. My mother overwrought with stress/mental breakdown before the holiday season and I was left with my siblings and father while she went to her sister’s home in another State to recover.

One year old

Not even 6 month old, and who knows what I felt exactly. All I know is there is a birth picture of me in the hospital and then 1 year old Portrait. Nothing between.

I was a blond girl with green eyes. Introverted, but just what I was … ends up INTp, ILI, ILI-ni.

My Siblings and me in 1972, huge family argument right before this photo shoot. About what? I don’t know just super stressful.

I was always so itchy, wool sweaters, but not limited to that, itchy just itchy just itchy. And ticklish. Nope a steel skinned non-ticklish person. So yes, itchy inside and on the outside, but no human could push me into ticklish territory. Make me laugh, yes, but never that uncontrollable OMG of tickling.

It’s an important theme for me. Itchy, non-tickled.

Later, around 10 years of age, I was getting headaches, doctor said, oh just a family trait. {thanks doc.}

Headaches hurt. Mine eventually turned to Migraines in my teens.

All that time occasional maddening fits from my father caused massive turmoil in the family. My mother was neurotic from it or something.

I was picked on and messed with wrongly. I hated/loved my father. Ick.

When I was 13 when trauma hit, my father moved us to Florida. I went kicking and screaming.

PMS and menstrual misery, it was so bad. Motrin saved me eventually. Prescription. When I didn’t have any, it was torture. Finally some time later ibuprofen became over-the-counter, so I was addicted to it, for Migraine, PMS, cramps, aches, etc.

I was allergic to strawberry. I discovered eating them made my tongue swell and get sore.

Spinach too.

Both things I liked. I set them aside forever in my early teens. In Florida I developed a post-nasal drip after a week of rain. I started getting Spring Allergies.

I had allergy tests in the 1980’s Mold was my major one.

I had prescription antihistamines. Always needed a -D variant.

I got married in 1992. First baby in 1996, then 1998, 2000, and 2007. In 2004 I lost an early pregnancy.

My 1998 baby was a girl, my sickest time. I finally got better after she was born. I felt ugly and awful. I said she stole my beauty. It returned after awhile.

My boys are 3. All my others, in other words, were awesome times. I felt great, less Migraines, overall wellbeing very nice. My last boy, in 2007 was the worst of the three as pregnancies go, I had more migraines, and some general yuck feeling here and there.

Years go by, my allergies were not only Spring type, Autumn too. The ALL YEAR but worse in Autumn. In the 2000’s I was suffering all the time.

In the 20-teens I took Advil a lot. I lived on it. In 2018 I came to my senses and stopped taking Advil and have been battling inflammation ever since.

In 2019 I had red eye rims and full bloodshot eyes all the time and I felt horrible. I started AIP, started getting better, got that symptom under control, but …. I just couldn’t lose the weight I had tacked on from my 2007 pregnancy.

Tried KETO then, lost some weight, then stalled. Stopped KETO.

I had times of hives, here and there, come and go. All my life. The last 4 to 5 years I get them from sleeping, from showing, from getting hot.

I always had a tough time with heat. Florida is the worst place to put me with a heat stroke sort of feature set.

How I lived through school, I don’t know. One school had PE at NOON, running track in full sun. I’d end up in the locker room throwing up and red and hive-y and feeling like my insides were turning out. Flopped on the floor unable to stand, miserable and NEVER did anyone care about me or my condition.

How did I live through that, I still don’t know. Just wouldn’t want anyone else to go through that.

I have had so many symptoms all over the place, but it’s precise that I can say strawberries, spinach are my worst, along with mushrooms and mold.

So one of my favorite cheeses is bleu cheese. I love tomatoes, I love chocolate. I love peanut butter and chocolate. I learned to love Avocado more recently.

I love fermented but don’t eat anything just because it’s fermented. I love vinegars and sour cream and cultured things. I love yeast bread.

Tomato dishes leftover are fantastic.

All the things above are High-Histamine or Histamine-Liberators or DAO Dampeners.

I stopped eating all Nightshades when AIP, I limited tomatoes before that for a long time, nearly all meals I made had some form of tomato sauce or paste in it heavy use or minor.

Cooking without tomato is difficult. Take away white potatoes too. Now everything is a chore to figure out for family dinners.

Come fully into the future, the Now. Histamine Intolerance: Potatoes are not the worst, it’s Tomatoes, but not sweet peppers, and that means I can have some interesting things at least.

Leftovers are for others, not for me.

I have to cook and eat or cook and freeze for later, or better yet prep all my eating into fresh kits to freeze.

I still feel like I don’t get enough sleep nor enough food to eat.

I’m bashing my head for stable non-stressful living and my husband just mucks it up all the time. I can’t live anymore.

I need a solid 1 month eating NON-Histamine and NON-Inflammatory foods only. Then I can really see what’s what, but sadly, I don’t live in a vacuum, so that is never happening.

Trying new things, some seem promising, but fail me.

Now getting to the bottom of it, digestion, guts alone. Baseline to figure out what I truly need supplement-wise to function as normal as possible.

Scary times. Inflammation, not something I ever want to have (don’t look up what it can lead too, it will scare the sleep right out of you.) Sinus issues, so sick of them. Lack of energy. Sometimes I feel better for a day, or part of a day, or a couple of days in a row. Instantly dispelled if hubby causes an emotional rollercoaster ride, as he has done for years now. It’s a circle jerk, right back to the top of this paragraph. Round and round it goes.

I feel like my life is devolving to when I was a kid. Scared and alone.

I’m on Day 3 of a 60-day protocol, eat meals, take supplements especially for this protocol. It’s a very hard row to hoe.

September 7, 2023