I am Autistic. Self-Diagnosed in 2024. I can’t afford a professional diagnosis.
Call me AuDHD though, I already had self-diagnosed ADHD many years ago. Current versions are C for combined, I for inattentive primarily, H for hyperactive primarily. I’d say I am ADHD-Combined and Autistic Level 1 1/2 to get granular about it all.
I have intensity that doesn’t quit, but extremely shy to a painful level to strangers or people in general that don’t live with me. That shy paints me all my life as an introvert, but I am not really, just that weird autistic shy.
I’ve been known as quirky, eclectic, intense, interesting, quiet, loud, shy.
I collected Boyds Bears for a long time.
I collected many LEGO sets.
I collected LP’s, CD’s.
I collected VHS movies. Then DVD movies and TV shows.
Now I collect Blu-ray Movies and some 4K movies. Blu-ray TV shows and sometimes DVD TV shows still. Also still collect some CD’s.
I have my music, TV shows and Movies on my own server.
I like tracking what I listen to with Last.fm and what I watch with Trakt.tv
I take photographs of things outside and cats inside and mostly closeups and some landscape for weather, sunrise, autumn, spring etc. Also some night photography, still learning about that.
I like having a Desktop that I build, and a really nice laptop and a pretty nice tablet and a very nice phone.
My Desktop will turned 5 in December 2024.
My phone was purchased in July 2024 S24 Ultra.
My tablet was purchased in July 2024 S9+
My laptop was purchased Oct 12, 2023, Asus Zenbook Pro 14″ OLED i9-13900H w Nvidia RTX-4070
I’ll add photos as I find them to add.
Story 1
I was a baby, my mother walked into the room, I was in the crib, saw her, lifted myself and said “HI”
Apparently.
Story 2
I was very young. I had a lot of boo-boos (in fact, that’s what my siblings called me, Boo-Boo). Christmas I had a big one on my chin. I hated it.
Even worse, my mother put me into tights and a shirt and made me go downstairs like that, because there were no clean pants.
WTF is all I can think now, but then I was trying to tell her to put a dress on me instead of … the very embarrassing way she dressed me. She didn’t listen to me.
I was mortified.
Story 3
My mother hurt her eye on a grocery bag walking home from the store. I recall she was out of it, and then there was a knock at the door. I saw her standing there, silhouetted in the bright light.
My brother had been hit by a car. (He was a couple of years older than me.)
My life changed for the worse right there. I was Two.
Story 4
Sometime later we were all in the basement, my whole family. I was about 5 or 6.
I saw a stack of clothing, and was super enthusiastic about them, wanted to wear them and insisted on it.
Only later was I let to know those were my brothers clothes which he was wearing when he was hit by the car.
Story 5
I was in Kindergarten, my closest (in age) sister and I went to the same elementary school. We’d walk home for lunch.
We had sherbet after lunch. I was very happy, I loved sherbet.
After my mother served us I found strings of stuff in my sherbet. UGH
I never ate sherbet again. Blech.
Story 6
I’d put peas and beans and beef into my pockets during dinner. I didn’t like them.
I away got away with it, I don’t know why.
Story 7
Our family went camping when I was Four. Station wagon, tents, an old man thought our family was nice, bought us ice cream there.
We were going on a hike. I ran ahead, and my sisters were over impressed that I stayed on the trail, like it should have been hard to know it was there and I was just like … what, it’s obvious.
Story 8
We came home from church and the fish in our fish bowl were dead and there was a pair of tweezers on the bottom of the bowl.
I was blamed. I didn’t do it.
They said I had wanted to hold the fish, so that proved it.
Why would I do that? I loved them swimming. How could I have done that and not known I had?
Never solved the who dun it. (They all blame me to this day.)
Story 9
We had a piano, I made up a song: high notes were corny (person), low notes were green bean (monster) and thunderous low notes for the haunted house.
Story 10
Dreams involved my friend from across the street, in her backyard on the swingset, a giant came into the scene, big round feet in sneakers and big fat stick lower legs only parts visible. My friend ran away, abandoning me, I didn’t escape, but dream ended before I got caught. This dream repeated often.
Story 11
I was itchy as a kid, itchy my whole life, things make me itch. I love real silk, cotton. I don’t like synthetic stuff much to varying levels of disgust.
I almost always was uncomfortable in clothing and would rip it off when got home. T-shirt and bike shorts.
Stay at home mom since 29 years old. T-shirts for the most part, tried to have some nice clothing but gave up on that and only use T-shirts and easy to put on and off pants, sneakers. Always wear wool socks. Hug my feet 🙂
Story 12
Stomach/Guts issues, aches, pain, and eventually got –maybe– carpal tunnel syndrome when 58 years old. Still trying to figure it out
Story 13
Little People were my toy of choice, Little House on the Prairie books, Black Stallion books, learned how to sew and made many of my own things, made the crinoline for my wedding dress (couldn’t buy one that I liked.) Made some baby clothing too, for my boys. 3 boys, 1 girl.
Story 14
I was Four, and wanted my mother to make me a felt stuffed play house. It had windows and a door, a roof, all made of dark green felt. She couldn’t understand what I wanted. I can still see it in my mind today, more than 50 years later. Sure it was a tall order, but it was so simple in my young mind to make. I had total confidence in her. Oh well.
Story 15
Every night at dinner, my husband gets done first and gets up from the table usually. Eventually he goes to the sink and starts washing dishes. Thing is, I’m still eating. Everyone else is done and it’s just me slowly eating as usually I do. Not that I’m so very slow, just everyone else are very fast, or pretty fast eaters.
My head hurts, filled with horrible noises and I want to scream. All my life this was an issue, and only now, this year, do I know it’s because of sensitivity connected to Autism and it’s not me being ridiculous.
I can’t stop him from doing the dishes while I’m eating, so I stop eating, abandon my food.
Story 16
When I was little, probably 8 years old, 1974, my father roped my sister in to play a Christmas Morning gift prank on me.
“Here’s a present” throws it to my sister, indicating it was for me, and it fell short hit the ground and glass shattering was so audible.
He made her pick it up and give it to me anyway.
Feigned feeling sorry for me, “open it anyway please!”
Here we are now in my mind. This was all too setup. Why does my father hate me so much!
Christmas was so magical and promising, dashed to pieces …
I opened the present, clouds of dust wafted out. It was filled with dirt and broken glass. (I could hear my mother “Oh Wayne!”)
Father beside-himself laughing so hard and long.
I sat there stewing as anger grew… and my next move … I don’t know. I’m guessing I was out of my mind.
Come to find out years later, my “Love Language” is receiving gifts. A very vulnerable love language.
Story 17
Selfies? We didn’t have those back when I was a kid or teen.
I have gooney looking me photos from film cameras though. Precious film wasted on me.
I was at a Salvation Army store with my family when I was in 6th grade, I found these wonderful HeeHaw denim overalls, my size. What a find! I mean real HeeHaw comic themed overalls. I’m embarrassed to death thinking of it. I wore them to school.
I can see me back then in my mind, I play through that like a movie … sickening.
Story 18
Screamed and Pleaded with my parents to let me stay with our neighbors when my family moved to Florida. I wanted to go to my school. Stay and flourish. their daughter was my age and she was my bestie. I was 13.
Forced to move, Hell ensued. Florida schools are horrible. I wanted to run away, but didn’t have the guts to do that.
Story 19
…. coming soon