My family has all been here since Thursday late morning. Very nice, but then again, not. Why? My family is all so very closed off, and it’s because of alcohol. Hubby just stays in his office room. That’s it, or sits outside with a book. That’s all he does. With alcohol. Or wishing about it.…

How can I deal with trauma. I mean past, stuffed down. The stuff that activates when my significant other has ingested alcohol of any kind. It’s killing me. I have stuff to deal with, and it’s too hard to deal with, so dealing is out the window. I am fearful. I am disgusted, I am…

Get up… Drink Fiji water, and part of another bottle. Plus a small pinch of Celtic Sea Salt. Next have Shilajit & coffee with hemp oil (THC free) and cream. A bit later… Eat breakfast and take 1 Tributyrin-X soft-gel. later, between eating meals/snack, take 2 Inflammatone capsules. (1 serving) I wish I could take…

Impossible dream. Yes, that is true. I can’t fix my guts. Lets say they weren’t great all along but not this bad. What happened at the end of 2020 was a virus that went through everyone in the house, and I was hit with horrible guts since then. I dealt with it better after a…

Anyone can take a stressor and turn it into a benign thing to not react to. When I do that in my home, it is me being ambivalent to my husband’s excessive attitude for drinking alcohol, then making it into a non-reaction thing. Ignore functioning. That’s how one enables another. When I mention the words…

Why is that I seem to have PTSD or CPTSD, rather, at this time of my life. I thought I could handle things and ended up making a few dumb choices which impact me to this day. I have all the hallmark signs but having an ILI personality I was able to lock the traumas…

Issues with heat, stress, etc. and of course, our A/C has broken. Over the course of the day, my guts have liquified. Living like this in August is intolerable. I think I’ll die